As We Speak....

....I have been going thru life's withdrawals something terrible. Anyways, sorry for not posting and keeping up with the blogsphere. I have been massively busy with school (Summer Classes), trying to find work once again (the boss fucked up and hired everyone close to the end of the school year for the school runs) and dealing with Papi and our unspoken craziness of a what we call a relationship.... Speaking of relationships, a phat shoutout goes to Miss Enigma (a fellow Newark shorty) She bigged me up on her current post about love and random territories...

*sidebar* I need to come holla at you whenever I am in the Hood.. I'll let you know.

To finish off the relationship part, Papi and I decided to take a break for a min. I know it is hurting us right now, but this is for the best. Maybe it was the distance and the fact that there are some things that can't be satisfied in a relationship via long distance.... However, I am going to Baltimore next weekend to visit him plus go to the crabfest and I soooo can't wait until then!!!!! When I see him, I am going to eat his ass alive like a obese person at a buffet table!!! I have been missing him something terrible for damn near two months, not to mention that the sex game was off the hook for the first time. Hold up!!!!! Hold up!!!! Is this what love supossed to feel like after being hurt once by love? Thats a good question but very rhetorical as well. Over the weekend, we got into it about something petty and childish. I think it was about the fact that I am so self-conscious and somewhat insecure about us and this relationship. It's not my fault that I have these feeling since my past life and relationships molded me to feel this way. I am listening to the late great Luther "Promise Me" & it fits us for the current moment. I never thought that love would feel like this for real for real. Usually, I'm the love em and leave em type but now I am placed on the otherside of the field and it is not pretty, not at all. Now I know how it feels to be that other person and it is nothing nice. Real Talk, Bloggers!!!! Things will shape itself together in due time.

I can't wait til I graduate next year with my associates' degree in Human Services. I have so much plans that will be taking effect as of the day after graduation. Me and me girls are trying to see about moving to Baltimore to start over and get away from this treacherous ass state of New Jersey. Anyways, guess what? I am finally going to Portsmouth, Va to visit ma grandmoms, who I haven't seen since I was 16 years old. I soo can't wait for that either. I needs to be reunited with these fools. I am trying to do as much traveling as possible before I really get on my grind and handle my handle hardbody.

I don't wanna keep ya'lll long and besides, I feel myself catching a cold and I needs to be in bed... and I needs to be studying for my test tomorrow. So I am gone now....
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I don't feel like blogging a new entry. How should I get ma hair done this weekend?

New Pic w/o the braids now... a.k.a. au naturale





This was taken at my peoples house while I was waiting for them to take me to school.

This is when I had ma braids in ma hair:

Life Is Too Short....

The reason why I decided to name this next entry "Life Is Too Short" is because life is really too damn short for playing around and bullshitting. As we all know that Luther Vandross passed away on Friday, which was a complete shock to me. I was like "stop playing", "you lying" until I heard the news that night... My mouth dropped wide the hell open. I remember a lot of Luther Vandross songs, particularly "Superstar". For some reason, that song described me and papi's relationship to a tee. And on top of that, tomorrow, my best friend, Felice would have been 21, yes, the big 21. She died back in 2003 at the age of 19 from a heart issue called cardiac tamponade... I remember looking that up right after I came back from the cemetery to see her.... enough with the sad talk... I got more pictures I've taken... Wanna see?


This Is Me When I Was At Federal Hill Section Of Baltimore... that was the place when the first shot was fired in the revolutionary war. Papi took that picture. That came out nice as hell.


This is the view of the Harbor via Federal Hill. That was a beautiful shot that had to be taken. I must have a good eye for photography... let me find out.


I was calling myself playing around taking self potrtaits, but ended up capturing a mushy moment. Love shots wanted.


Another self portrait of us chillin at the Harbor doing what lovers do.... how cute


Back in the hotel room I was staying at, we was gettin blown something serious and after that, I was getting bliwn.. *wink*


The Styles P joint should have played while I was blowing down that Baltimore trees... Their trees was the truth that weekend.


Dayummmmm he looked some kinda sexy with his fitted to the front like an up north dude... and thats real talk. I had to take this picture.. sheesh, I had to.

This is the last picture I took at the Camden WaterFront

My boy Sha took this picture.. I was a bold chick that day.. since they are Philly-influenced, and I'm being a New York kinda girl, I was getting strange looks from the Camden people at their Puerto Rican Festival... But ya know... a chick didn't care though.
I Hope You Likes The Flicks.. Many more to come.

Baltimore Excursion

Just came back from a three day, make that a four day excursion weekend in Baltimore with you know whom.. I have a couple of pictures I want to share:

This Is Us Kissing The Day I Was Leaving to go back to Jersey... Boy oh boy, you know a sister was some kind of sad that day. Boo hoo hoo... I was about to cry that day when I got my ass back on the Greyhound. I was not prepared to go back up top, not at all, but hey.. we have a to have our seperate lives you know. He's coming up hea in the middle of next month.. until then, we'll have to stay chirping off the hook ya know... A sister can't wait either.



At Federal Hill, I took a picture of me and the crab that has the state flag sculpted. There are different sites of the Harbor that has different crab statues. Since Maryland, mainly, Baltimore is known for their delicious crabs, and their different crab recpies.



Lastly, I was mad as hell the day I was leaving, but I had to put a phony smile on for him so he wont know that I was disappointed the day I was leaving. Bad enough I left my cheesecake and my on the road snacks in the hotel room, so you know I was pissed... Shit, I am a big fan of cheesecake and if you go to the INNER HARBOR, you have to go to The Cheesecake Factory. It is massively crowded, but it is worth it, trust me...




Lastly, I have to get the piece for the rest of my pictures I took via my Canon Powershot..
Tootles, Bloggers

Family/Friends:The Meaning Of...

Intro:
Nowadays, family aint family anymore and friends are not as true to the game as they used to be when I was in my coming of age. To piggyback off of Retts's blog people are fending for themselves without no suport system. I should know first hand, due to my experience in this type of situation.

Family
Lately, I have been thinking about making that power move to Baltmore with Papi to start over and get my life together since there is nothing more of a reason to stay in Jersey. I have been going thru enough bullshit to last a lifetime.. theres nothing wrong with starting over and looking foward to a new day. As we speak, I am looking at jobs in Baltimore via Careerbuilder. Also, I have noticed, this place has much more opportunity unlike up top where you have to fight the competition just to get ahead in the New Jersey job market. So I'm thinking to myself.. "why not start over." However, I do have some unfinished business to handle before I can even move a step ahead. Seeing the rest of the family I am cool with and telling the remainder on how I felt about their actions before I go about my business. I love my family, but I unequivically despise their actions.

Friends:
I have very few friends, friends who inspire me to do better. I just recently celebrated my best friend Kim's graduation from
Bloomfield College with a B.A. in Psychology. She busted her ass to get that and I remember being there from day one.. mind you, we were flyy since high school. I remember the struggles of work, school and men altogether. Been there, donre that. The fam, friends and associates and I had a good time. We partied like it was 1999(ironically, it was the same year we all graduated high school)Me, Christina and Kim were reunited like we were younger all over again. I wish Retta(see the link up top) was there to see her do her thing. I have pictures though. Retta, even though she has kids... I'm their godmother and she was also there from day one as well. Shit, she was there for everything as well as Kim. We even lived together.Sheese, people tried to crush our friendship, but when the smoke cleared, we are even tighter... too bad she lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. I wanna see the kids(I want pics too)
This is my best friend at her graduation strutting w/ the cap and gown on:
Miss College Graduate:



Lastly
What does the meanings family and friends mean in your words? Opinions Wanted

Labor of Love...

Ching Ching Jackpot, I think I am in love people(in the words of 50). Papi is the most sweetest person I have ever known. I hate doing this long distance relationship shit, but if its going to help us build stronger ties, so be it. We talk every night, before going, while I was there, and after I went to Baltimore to see him. Really, it felt too damn good just chillin with him and being in his presence alone speaks volumes. Last entry, I explained in brief detail on what he is about. This time, I am ready to get into it a lil bit more. He came at a time when I was worrying about a lot of shit. I know that it three months too quick to fall for someone, but a person can never control their feelings and impulses. Even though when I first met him, I was not looking for a relationship, because I was not ready to even walk down that path and put myself out there for heartbreak again. And on top of that, he has a son, which makes it even harder to go back to that route since I have been scorned by that situation once before. I don't have any doubt that he loves me, but I just have to be sure of myself and know what I am getting into once again.

Papi told me the other day over the wire that he doesn't like me out in Jersey with a lot of drama. So he is trying to look at townhouses or homes in the Belair-Edison area for us to live in when I get here. If he doesn't find anything good, I'll be put up in an apartment and he'll handle the rent and that leaves me to do the rest.

Entry Update:
I didn't mean to spazz out in the last entry, but I was steaming mad when I typed that entry out. Ever since that day, I called him to congratulat him on his wedding and I told him "I hope you have a good wedding and a good life; you have the number and you know the address, have a happy marriage, guess I'll talk to you some other time" and bowed out gracefully. However, when we first started, it was not, I repeat, NOT intentional to even get into a sexual relationship at all, let alone getting caught up. But you know shit happens, right. And we got caught out there and got emotionally attached. I know in the game, you cant do that... but shit happens....

Lastly, I found a part time gig as a bus attendant. I decided to swallow my pride and take the bullshit job. The reason why I took it is because it is up the street from my house and my school and I can easily get to it via two feet. But the catch is that I have to be there at six thirty in the morning. We take the children with special needs, or different classifications to their district schools and also take them home as well. I get off at 9:30AM and don't have to be back until 1:30PM and we don't officially get off until 4:30, so basically, it's like a full time job. I work with a bunch of broads and I am anti-social so I just sit back and observe people from a distance. People can be so phony, it is a shame.
....New Shameless Plug Added
Retta
Retta
Retta
Show Her Some Love People... Her Trials and Tribulations in North Carolina by the way of Irvington, NJ