I Am Gunna Scream.... *Arghhhhhhh*

Intro:
The weather was exceptional today.. It was mad nice out, then it started pouring like at 2 something in the afternoon while I was at the busstop waiting for the 190.
Got my mane all wet and knotty and what not. I swear it better be worth it by the end of the week. All this grinding I have been doing massively, this better pay off expeditously. I have a new thing called question of the day... The Debut:"When was the first time you fell in love with someone?"

College Life:
I just recovered from 2 exams I had on 2 sittings.... I was massively late to one of them(*exactly 10 mins before the class was over) and I finished the questionnaire, and I was almost finished with my essay questions, but noooo, time was up and I know I failed, but then again, I hope I passed.... I had my human services test tonight as well. I scored an 88, a fucking 88. I want my 100. I worked my butt off on the terminology. Aint nobody perfect, but damn... I feel like a failure *sniff sniff*

Job Prospectiucs:
I had an interview with this hotel today for a front desk clerk and I was massively late gettin there. I HATE NJTRANSIT. They suck ass.... These buses were running massively slow and what not. I hate them, but I'll live. Hopefully, I get the job. I'll have to wait until Friday, if she places that call to me.. I am gunna scream for JOY!!!! I have to find out whats good with the rest of the job market since things are starting to look up for me as far as the prospects are concerned.

All-Night Long/Day:
I was up studying all night with a mean head cold and damn near pulled an all nighter. I should have done that, but I really would have been paying the price worser than I am doing now, cold and all. At least I did wake up to some bacon, scrambled cheese eggs and pancakes. Moms cooked when I was sleeping. I think that she knows that I am stressing to the max, or trying to make it up for eating my lunch the other day. You know that I am hood, so I wanted my jelly & butter to go with my pancakes and when I went to look, there was no more... Str8 killed my breakfast altogether. You know a sister was tighter than a virgin, right. Anyways....I am getting over my cold... thanks for the love, Gabi. I am getting better and better by the day..... *claps hands*

Love:
Why I have this feeling that I am being played or taken for a fool. Last night, I had a dream about old boy.I couldn't even sleep at all. For some strange reason, he was on my mind and my right ear was ringing like it was the phone line, so he must was thinking about me. I want to feel him out, but the distance between us is too great and LD relationships are not my cup of tea at all. IT NEVER WORKS OUT!!!! Ever since that day, it feels like he is trying to play me, but that's okay.. I can fuck em and leave em... However, I dont want to do that. This man has potential to tame my wild behind. We'll have to see.... Maybe One Day
Anyways, to careen off the subject for a minute....

The Question Of The Day
When was the first time ya'll ever fell in love with somebody?
I remember the 1st time I was in love. (hint:He looks like Killa Cam in person, just the slimmer version with twists that are probably dreads) He literally broke my heart to the point that I will never love again. The killer was that it was damn near 6 years ago, but you will never forget your first love and your first sexual experience, kiss and all that good shit.(that rhymed.. I am a such a wordsmith)When I met him, he was sooo fine, I could scream. He was tall(I'm 5ft, so go figure)brown skinned, and with deep waves. When I saw him at my store, I was doing homework and he asked me "where was the bathroom?" I was diggin his sneakers and I asked him about them. We talked and talked until it was time to leave the store. The next day he came back, I was running the register. He was like "what time do you get off so I can take you to get a bite to eat?" We chilled and chilled that night and never left each other's side.... fast foward to prom time... May '99, that was the first time I EVER said "I love you" to a dude and meant every word, letter and syllable with every bone in my 5ft body. He said it back, and it was on and poppin from there. Shit was sweet until I went to tell him the good news about something "personal" and his babymama answered the door(he had his own apartment when he was 18, he's 24 now) I knew he had a babymama from day 1, but I thought she was not in his life until I caught him in bed sleeping.(I happened to take a peek while she was at the door)I could have went ballistic, but I was 18 at the time and I was an adult by then. I'm better than that, you know. I went back to my homegirl's house and it seeped in and I went into a fit of rage. I was gunna kick down that door and whoop some ass in that house. I was straight wilding in the middle of Bergen and Lyons Ave in Newark(Go Brick City!!!)they put me on the bus and sent me home. I was sulking and sulking the whole 2 hr ride to Orange via Transit. He tired to see me after a week talking about it was not like that, but I cursed his ass out for real. I am not gunna front, I still love his ass, but I can never get back with him or reconsider a man with children...(Gabi, did I clarify that question for you??? Now you see why I asked that question)

Miscellaneous
Still doing research on the "Down Low Phenomenon" What makes a man sleep with another man.. I know I shouldn't be posting this being that I am bisexual and all, but I don't know. I never quite grasped that concept.
I'll Squalla, Dirtbags

ChocolateNJGirl Is Finally "Cleansed" Her Mind, Body and Soul For The Day