PMS

Man oh man.... I had plans on straight wilding out this weekend, but all that shit went to a halt this afternoon... I got my "dreaded monthly".. aint that a bitch.... I am mad, but oh well, at least I aint a babymama... no disrespect, cause I know quite a few of them.. even had to smack up one when I was 18. Ay yo, I had good reason. My first love was dealing with this broad while still dealing with me and she tried to get fly when I stepped to her. So I did what I had to do!!! lol... you like my buttons on the sidebar??? I kinda like em too. As we speak, I am trying to make one for my BlackPlanet page. I may go back and get my certificate in web design, just in case my current major in Human Services falls through. That'll be wassup for reals. You never know

Speaking of majors, I now know why I decided to change my previous major from Communications to Human Services. Last night when I was looking at information for my end of semester research project, all the things I have gone through slapped me in the face. Now, at the age of 23, I 'm just realizing why I am here. I am here for a purpose. I dont know exactly what it is, but it is going to come to me when I least expect it. When I was 12 years old, I was going through a helluva lot, I would not rather say what it is, it is too painful to talk about on air (look on the side and find my yahoo or aim s/n and I will tell you privately) and it affected me so bad in a way. After that moment, I told myself and the few friends I had, I wanted to become a "social worker" I should have followed my footsteps from the beginning. Like the cliche says, "what don't kill you, make you stronger" If I didn't fuck up back then, letting this asshole I called my first love stress me out, I would have gotten my BA and more than likely, working towards my MA. Thats okay. I am making it up to myself now and shit'll be done before I know it.

The love life is going so so, I guess. I was thinking about Brion after the weekend(see "damn, damn, damn") Only 3 people got me like that. *smh* Let me find out, let me find out. I think that its time for me to get out of the game and be on chill mode for a while. However, there is one thing that is stopping me... I am scared of me getting hurt once again. Once is too many times to be hurt, especially when it was your first love... Ladies and gents, you know what I am talking about. I really don't go out here in the world and look for a man. I let things come naturally; if it happens it does, and if it doesn't oh friggin well. Why my ex, CP had the nerve to write me talking about he wants to handle my handle on Valentines Day... This prick got a girl... matter of fact a fiancee/live-in girlfriend. Aint that some bullshit! They got back together after we broke up in 2002. I was moving away and I personally DO NOT deal with long distance relationships. Not my style. I found this shit massviely funny. If I can find the email, I would blast his ass, but I am better than that. I know I am sounding really petty, like I want him & what not, but it is not like that at all. Matter of fact, I know this chick that I am sorta like crushing on a tad bit. We both already made the move.. but I may give her a call just to say hello and ask her where's my Valentines present, just to be funny. *smh* I got my period and I have to do what a woman does when she gets her "slobbery friend"
ChocolateNJGirl Is Feeling Quite "Squishy"
P.S. In case you haven't noticed, my hormones are massively out of wack.